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“Aw, you are the sweetest Santa I’ve ever known, and I’ve been doing this for the past five years. Of course, as you said, we are your elves. We shall do as you say, Santa.” She smiled with watery eyes. “Good, I’m glad you approve. Well, looks like that’s everything, we can start soon. Just need to make sure my beard is on straight,” he smiled. “It’s perfect, Santa.” She looked up at him and pushed it slightly. “Good, I’ll take my place on my throne, and can you ring the bell?” he smiled. . "If you check my cellphone under "Holiday Inn" you'll see a number for them. Tell 'em we need a room with two beds, non-smoking. Uh ... you don't smoke, do you?" Yecchhhhh!" she spat. "Uh ... I have a problem," she said. "Actually, a couple of 'em." What sort of problem?" One, I'm ... Uh ... let me put it delicately ... I'm on my period, and I have two tampons left. And two, all the clothes that I own are in that Wal-mart bag behind the seat." Oh," I said. "I thought you said "problem". Make. He oiled my body down again and then went over to get cleaned up. His two best friends came over and picked me up to take me to the gazebo for the wedding. They re-secured me in place in the gazebo and my ex walked up next to me. The preacher came up and began the ceremony by stating"we are gathered here today for the marriage of these two people. Everything has been completed, I will now begin the timer, any objections? No one objected then then told me I had five minutes to make my ex. The boys made their way into the sitting area outside of the libraryand saw a small group of girls."Shit man. I knew they'd bring more, but that's too many! There mustbe five or six of 'em," James said in an annoyed voice."Hey well that's no prob dude. Better pickin's if Kelly and Stacey aretotal bitches. I mean, Kelly is head cheerleader after all. There'sbound to be some serious drama going on with that bitch," Keith saidas James made a hushing motion with his hand."Ladies!" James announced.
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